how i will make my first grand
| the setting... i'm riding my bicycle through my new city with a helmet on following all the laws and being cautious. a lexus with a pampered housewife hits me making a right turn and chatting on her bluetooth. it's just another gray day in seattle (which just fyi i'm totally loving and finding them good for depression). i bounce off my bike, lay on the ground for a second, make sure my fingers work, check out my bike and begin to stand. the pampered housewife flys out of her car, arms waving above her head and kitten heels clacking on the street
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| pampered housewife: |
oh my god did i hit you? i did didn't i, i hit you. oh god.
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| me: |
well, yeah you did just hit me but you know, i-
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| pampered housewife: |
oh i can't believe it, are you okay? are any bones broken? and your bike!
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| me: |
look lady, i just got scratched up and my bike is already a bit of a clunker anyway, i gotta get to work.
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| pampered housewife: |
my insurance cannot find out about this. my husband will kill me. he probably will make me drive the civic that shuts off to be gas efficient. oh god, how embarrassing! listen, please don't tell. here just take this
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| the pampered housewife reaches into her glove box and hands me ten $100 bills.
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| me: |
oh no, you know that's really not necessary... you know, these things happen
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| pampered housewife: |
oh no, you must. i'm sorry, and i really can't have anyone find out about this. just take the money, please?
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| me: |
well lady, if you insist.
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| she gets in her car and i ride off in the sunset off to some of the fancy ballard ave. stores to buy myself a new coat. |
12:36 pm • 16 January 2012
